Ingredients of College

A cup of Inconveniences, two spoons full of no sleep, slowly suck out the life of anything that is good, then stuff pointless general classes you will never use, add four years of never finding yourself, and finally bullies, life, and everything nice.

P.S. Don’t forget to spice up the fact that you suck when it comes to anything resembling love.

(Disclaimer: Not every person’s recipe will be exactly the same and measurements will vary. Good luck!)

I don’t regret coming to college, in fact the first two years were pretty much awesome aside from the fact that I kind of miss being that innocent little freshman. Some people partied it up, drank, made-out, had sex, and did drugs. Some hit the books like they had no tomorrow. I just wanted to make friends. So what’s so wrong with that?

Everything.

When you’ve moved around as much as I have it gets pretty hard to create or even maintain friendships. Especially long distance. So everyone and everything just become a multitude of memories stored in the recesses of your mind. So I was naively eager and very much unprepared coming into college, but was so excited to have four full years to build lifelong friendships. Because you know they say the people you meet in college will be the people you know for life. Yup, four years of mentally being screwed on a social level that you will never get back. Goodbye fairy-tale of everyone singing kumbaya and sharing their honest feelings. Adios to the days where everyone saw dating as more than just a way to get in someone’s pants. Au Revoir to your inner child, you will be innocent no more.

I was very unprepared for how messed up our society has made the young adults of today. I can still hear the almost silent whispers of society’s never ending list of expectations. The expectations that create the “it’s my way or the highway” attitudes, looks matter, two-faced, social climbing, passive aggressive texting, internet shaming, it’s ok to lie, sexually demoralizing, greater than thou views that America has ingrained in it’s children. I hope I haven’t scared you. It’s ok though, add all of what I just listed onto the recipe of things you have to deal with in life with the fact that you have to slave yourself away and sell your soul to the school.

But look on the bright side, if you can get through this terrible fruitcake of four years with your head still on your shoulders and a friend or two that have stuck through the good, the bad, and the ugly then you’ve really won. Because it doesn’t matter who you date, what you have or haven’t done, what you believe politically, how you look, or whether or not you might have a screw loose because those individuals that actually do care will love you for the foundation of what makes you….well, you. So, don’t accept anything less than that, because anyone else will come into your life as just a lesson to be learned and think of you as just a page in their book, whereas they were a chapter in yours.

But here is my advice to you:

Just because people will turn their backs on you during the hard times (and trust me college can be hard) continue to be the better person and lift others up. Be true to YOU. It’s harder than it sounds, and you might trip a few times till you actually get it right. That’s OK. It’s ok to feel walked all over, like you can’t breathe, and to fall apart but it’s just a part of being purely human. We are given the most difficult people and situations in life at the most inconvenient times, but maybe it’s because God wants you to be the example and the ray of light in that person’s darkness. So that one day, when you’re feeling awfully low you will have a guardian angel (or smart ass grammar nazi friend) at your side. Either way this four year mixture of chaos will either make you or break you. Just know that in the end God is always with you, and the experience before you does have a recklessly beautiful purpose and will taste so much better with friends.

“So much of what we learn about love, is taught by people who never really loved us”       -Unknown

BUT

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DNA Doesn’t = Love

Go ahead laugh at her, call her needy, call her pathetic, emotional, say she has daddy issues and tell her to get over it.

But know that when you laugh and say those words you are laughing at a 6 year old girl who saw a family fall apart. Saw a father walk away and throw a mother on the ground. You are laughing at a tear stained face who waited every week for the exchange. A childhood wasted waiting in a parking lot and at other family homes. You are laughing at a 12 year old who was left at the airport Christmas Eve because he didn’t love her enough. Who would disappear for months or a year at a time. A child who never got to do a middle school father-daughter dance and cried. You are laughing at the same child who was beaten down by a dead beat dad. Saw her sister being drowned.

You are laughing at the 18 year old who held her breath when she came of legal age to be back in contact with the man that gave up his rights to three daughters in exchange for a son not of the same blood. A child of God who sighed in relief when nothing happened. You are laughing at a 20 year old who’s world was turned upside down. Her dirty laundry of a past was hung for everyone to see. Whose personal life was invaded. You are laughing at a 22 year old fighting off the lies of society, who never had a chance to grow up. Who’s learning that she’s more than the compartmentalized box put on the shelf to deal with for a later date that others have made her out to be. The child that never got to truly find herself. Who searched for love in all the wrong places. Who had her heart broken, by the one man who was supposed to love her forever, before any boy ever could.

You are also laughing at a child, even with this summarized laundry list of a past and ball and chain of faults that drag her down, who is being lifted up and loved by the Lord above, despite the misgivings. Who is lifting her chin up to the sky for better things. The enemy will always fight the hardest when he knows that God has something greater in store for his warriors. Either way this star can’t shine without the darkness anyway. So let the battle come, this 6 year old little girl is now putting on her armor and carrying her sword. Who won’t be put down anymore.

“God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his”

-C.S. Lewis